Kermit and Fozzie: “I’d love to try The Great British Bake Off – especially if it was custard” | Film

Let’s talk size here, folks: are you, Kermit, a very big frog, or are you, Fozzie—like Tom Cruise—a very small bear? Abney15
Kermit: I am an average sized frog, especially in my family. As one of more than 2,000 siblings, I’m in the middle of nowhere in terms of height: not as short as my sister, Kismet, or as tall as my brother, Kromit.
Fozzie: Tom Cruise is a bear? I did not know that. I have to watch his movies again. You’d think I’d notice something like that.

I imagine you’d be great together on the BBC’s Bargain Hunt. Would you be up for it? Murdomania
K: Bargain Hunt sounds fun. But if you want a real bargain hunter, you should call Miss Piggy. She really knows how to find a bargain… so ignore that and buy the most expensive thing in the store.
Q: I think I’ll try The Great British Bake Off, especially if we were to make custard. Along with rubber chickens and chickpeas, custard pies are a big part of my act.

My Dad and I traditionally decorate the house for Christmas while watching The Muppet Christmas Carol. What holiday traditions do you enjoy with your family? Wackwacka30
K: Oh, that’s so nice to hear. We are thrilled that The Muppet Christmas Carol has become a part of so many families’ holiday traditions. We’ve tried watching the movie while we decorate, but everyone but me ends up watching the movie and I end up decorating. So now we wait until after we have put up the holly, glitter and tree.
Q: The great tradition among bears is the Passing of the Fruitcake. It’s been in our family for generations, but no one has been brave enough to take a bite. Legend has it that the bear that bites the fruitcake will either become king of all bears or break a tooth…or both.

Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge in The Muppet Christmas Carol, from 1992. Photo: Disney/Sportsphoto/Allstar

I once had the privilege of working on set with the great Michael Caine and asked him what film he had enjoyed making mostly. Without hesitation he said, “Muppet Christmas Carol.” As a working actor at the time, did he ever thank you for the promise you made to his career? JoaquinSafari and JAYJ1111
K: We gave Sir Michael’s career a boost? I wouldn’t exactly say it like that. We are just frogs, pigs, bears and anythingand he is a classically trained thespian.
Q: I thought he was an actor?
K: Same, Fozzie. Anyway, Sir Michael is a good friend and we were honored to share the screen with him. He is nothing like Scrooge, by the way. He is very generous. He even lent his Oscar to Miss Piggy, although I’m not sure she ever returned it.

Would you ever make Muppet Die Hardwith Miss Piggy as Hans Gruberor Muppet Alien, with Piggy as Ripley? Or Muppet Breaking Bad, with Dr Bunsen Honeydew as Walter White, Beaker as Jesse, Waldorf as Hector Salamanca and Kermit as Gustavo Fring, a respected pillar of society known for his charitable works; the perfect front to hide his vast criminal empire? YorkshireExPat, RexPowerColt, Chancre and funkapuss
K: I can honestly say that at no time have we considered any of these possibilities. But thanks for the suggestions.
Q: How about your nephew, Robin the Frog, who played Tiny Tim? Doesn’t he have any Muppet Christmas Carol sequels in development?
K: Oh, right. Robin wants to take Tiny Tim in a whole new direction. He has played Muppet Christmas Carol 2: Tiny Tim Winter Soldier! and Tiny Tim in the Multiverse of Mistletoe, but so far no one has taken.

Movie star looks … Kermit and Miss Piggy arrive at the 2014 world premiere of Muppets Most Wanted.
Movie star looks … Kermit and Miss Piggy arrive at the 2014 world premiere of Muppets Most Wanted. Photograph: PictureLux/The Hollywood Archive/Alamy

Come on Kermit, spill the beans… both you and Miss Piggy look amazing. Have you had surgery or is it your pig/amphibian genes to thank? Do you see yourself ever getting back with Piggy? kmansley, davidabsalom and trhodsey
K: I can’t speak for Miss Piggy, but I’ve never had any kind of cosmetic surgery. I still look so young because, like a frog, I spend at least an hour a day soaking in lady scum. Try it and I bet you’ll come out looking as green and wet behind the ears as me.
Q: Which ears?
K: It’s a figure of speech, Fozzie. As for Piggy and I getting back together, we’re still good friends and love working together, so anything is possible.

Do you ever audition for other roles? Kermit: Yoda, Hulk or Shrek? And Fozzie: Paddington, Winnie Pooh or Yogi Bear? Or are you all friends? 25aubrey and TopTramp
K: Yoda and Hulk are both good friends and I often mistake them for them, despite my lack of ears and chest. I think both are perfectly cast. As far as going after other roles, I’m auditioning all the time, but for some reason Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise seem to get all the really cool parts. I think it must have something to do with the fact that they are both named Tom, not Kermit.

Kermit, you commented “It’s not easy being green” years before the climate crisis hit the headlines. Are you some sort of frog Nostradamus, and if so, what will you predict next? Prospero
K: I’ve never tried to predict the future, but I think it’s getting easier to be green… and so many people are doing their part to make the world a greener planet that will be here for future generations of humans, pigs and frogs.

Jim Henson and Kermit.
Jim Henson and Kermit. Photo: The Muppets Studio

Losing Jim Henson must have been so hard. What are your favorite memories? KayBee123
K: Jim was the best. He made us who we are—literally. He was always there to help and give us a boost. But most of all, my favorite memory of Jim was his laugh. When we got really silly, he would collapse with laughter. It made us all know that we were exactly where we belonged. Jim is the reason we are still out there doing what we do. We will never forget him.

Sometimes I call my boyfriend a muppet. Is this wrong? Oboe 1971
K: Not at all. If she can juggle, we’d love to have her with us. We are always looking for good jugglers.

Seeing Lady Gaga in her Kermit outfit must have been akin to Basil Brush witnessing Beyoncé strutting around in fox fur. Does it give you nightmares? McCootykins
K: I loved Lady Gaga’s Kermits jacket. No actual frogs were harmed in the making of that jacket – it was actually made by my cousins, who are all trained stunt frogs. Have you ever seen the frog storm in Magnolia? It was their first gig.

What was it like singing Rainbow Connection with Debbie Harry on it The Muppet Show? Who is your dream duet Rainbow Connection? KowaIski and AlexClarke
K: I had a wonderful time. How lucky am I to have sung such a beautiful song with so many incredible artists over the years? Ed Sheeran, John Legend, Tori Kelly, Queen Latifah, Nina West… the list goes on and on! Honestly, they’ve all been dream duets for me.

Fozzie, I met you in Scarborough in 1978 with my Grandma and I took our pictures with you. She loved a good laugh. What is your favorite joke? sgbfab
Q: My favorite joke?! Oh my, it’s impossible to pick just one! Kermit, you pick one!
K: Uh, me? Well, Fozzie, I don’t know, they’re all so funny.
Q: When you’re right, you’re right! How about I just tell my favorite Christmas joke instead. Clear? What did everyone say about Rudolph’s first Christmas Eve flight? He got rave reviews!
K: It’s a bit on the nose, don’t you think?
Q: Ahhh! It is funny!

Kermit, if I kiss you, will you be my handsome prince? TurangaLeela2
K: I’m not sure I’d be anything but the object of Miss Piggy’s wrath.

Do you ever wish you were human? Hemmings66
Q: No. There are a lot of human comedians out there, but I have the stand-up comedy bear niche all to myself, and I like it that way.
K: I don’t want to be human either. I like being a frog. You get to sit on a stick, swim in a swamp and wear no clothes. What’s not to love? It’s like my song, Being Green, says, “I’m green and I’ll be fine. It’s beautiful, and I think that’s what I want to be.”

I am a fan on the autism spectrum. I love you guys so much. Watching your shows and movies always makes me feel better. Thank you for making the world a better place. GoNzO14
K: Thank you, GoNzO14! You are the reason we do what we do.
Q: And remember to laugh when I do my act. Wocka wocka!

The Muppet Christmas Carol vinyl picture disc is out now on Walt Disney Records/UMR.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *